Turning the tables over you
by Preppygirl14
Summary: Scarlett doesn't fall from the staircase but Rhett. She feels guilty and vows to be a better wife for him but when he wakes up, he doesn't remember her or the past years before the barbeque. Scarlett would have a choice to make; help him to remember her or leave him alone at last.
1. Chapter 1:The harder they fall

Chapter 1

The harder they fall

_I would have died_  
_I would have loved you all my life_

_You're losing your memory now_  
_You're losing your memory now_

...

_"You're looking pale. It's there a shortage of rouge? Or can this wanness mean you've been missing me?"_

_"If I'm pale, it's your fault. Not because I've been missing you, but because..."_

_"Pray continue, Mrs. Butler."_

_"It's because I'm going to have a baby."_

_"Indeed? And who's the happy father?"_

_"You know it's yours! I don't want it any more than you do! No woman would want the child of a cad like you! I wish it were anybody's child but yours!"_

_"Well, cheer up. Maybe you'll have an accident,"_ Scarlett was livid, was outraged. She felt his words as a blow and wanted to give him back part of the pain he had been giving to her. She plunged to him, her first going to his face but he caught her wrists. She cried out of anger, out of pain, and they struggled. Rhett turned his body and hers, trying to pushed her backwards. Despite his own anger and his own pain, he realized their dangerous position at the top of the stairs. Despite everything she had done to him, he couldn't bear to see her hurt. He was such a stupid fool, he knew, but still...

"Scarlett," despite his obvious superior strength over her, she was fighting with teeth and nail, trying to reached his face and tear it to pieces until he felt the pain she was feeling.

"Scarlett, wait!" he yelled at her but she didn't listen, she snatched her hands out of his grip and lunged at him. Her tiny fist hit his cheek at the same time his feet misstepped. Scarlett then opened wide her eyes, realizing her mistake.

"Rhett!" he tried to grab the banister, but the smooth mahogany slipped out of his grasp and he felt backwards, rolling down the stairs, his large body bumping in the steps, until he reached the bottom and then he lied still.

Scarlet was frozen, not daring to move. She was hoping to see Rhett standing and glowering at her, but it didn't happen. He lied there as a broken enormous doll. She started to climb down slowly, barely noticing the tears coming down her face.

"Rhett...?" no answer, not even a move or a moan. "Rhett?" she cried starting to sob and when she reached the fourth step she saw it; blood…, blood flowing, forming slowly a halo beneath his head.

Scarlett bloodcurdling cry rang across the house.

* * *

The next hours passed in a blur and Scarlett just remembered faces, moving lips, lifeless limbs... She remembered Mammy and Pork entering the room. She didn't know what they said, she couldn't hear anything; she just saw how Pork lifted Rhett's broken body difficulty and took him to the drawing-room. She followed him.

She sat next to Rhett close but far enough, she couldn't bear to see him like that but she couldn't leave him. She didn't understand it but she couldn't think about it, her brain refused to analyze information, it was stuck with the images of Rhett falling and his yells as he bumped downstairs, replaying over and over. Pork took the library some bed from the servant's quarters to move Rhett into a more comfortable place.

At some point Dr. Meade arrived and someone took her out. She didn't protest but refuse to leave her spot behind the door. Again she didn't hear anything, just saw moving lips.

When she entered again the room she went directly to Rhett, sitting in the armchair next to him. His head was bandaged and his left arm was in a sling, he looked better but he was still unconscious.

She started to hear something, a buzzing... a growing annoying buzzing... wait, it sounded like her name...

"Scarlett," she looked up and saw Dr. Meade staring at her worriedly. "Scarlett, did you hear what I said?"

She shook her head.

"I said your husband broke his left arm, and has several contusions but it's going to be fine. What does worry me it's the several contusions in his head. I bandaged the wound but I'm afraid it could be an internal wound. I don't when he would wake up or if there's going to be sequels, but I cannot do anything else for now," Scarlett nodded her head but said nothing.

"Call me if you need something," and the old man left the room.

Then Scarlett stared at her husband again, she could hear him breath now. He looked so peaceful, he looked like if he were just sleeping...

Her brain started to work again, this time against her. She was responsible of this, she thought. He tried to warn her, he even moved her out of the way, but she punched him and made him fall..., she practically pushed him. She swallowed and the tears started to come down. How they had come to this? How their marriage, their friendship had come to this? To this constant quarrel... it was a matter of time.

He had said awful things to her, but deep inside she knew she deserved them. He was about to hug her when she told him she didn't want the baby, and she wished it could be anyone's but his. Such a vile disgusting lie, she craved for the baby, and she craved for it because it was Rhett's. That was the reason why she had missed terribly Bonnie, why she started to feel that mother love... Bonnie, where was she? Probably with Mammy, she was far a better mother than her. She had been better than Ellen, and now was better than her and Bonnie wouldn't forget. She wouldn't forget how she had neglected her and her father.

Scarlett swallowed. She didn't want to keep analyzing her feelings, the things that happened, but she couldn't help it. She felt terribly guilty, and not only that. The thought of Rhett maybe never waking up was terrifying. She couldn't bear it, she couldn't bear it not to have Rhett with her. He had to wake and grinned and smirked at her, he had to jeered and laugh... that booming laugh that annoyed her but loved so much, he had to call her pet, and drive her mad, he had to try and be sweet with her again even if it never lasted... Why she wanted him so much? Why she needed so much? And why she realized now? Since Ashley's party... not, before at the mills, she discovered some new feelings, some strange feelings for her husband. But then he was cruel and then he was passionate and he told her he loved her and she knew they would have another life that never came because he left..., he had left her! If he hadn't left her this would have never happened! But then she thought about how she would feel in Rhett's place... assuming he had feelings for her. How it would be to be married to someone you love but didn't love you back? How it would be to see that person longing and dreaming about another person and comparing you to that person? How impotent she would feel loving that person but fighting constantly with him? Lying in his arms knowing he was thinking about someone else...? Scarlett was sobbing without realizing it again. She knew she wouldn't bear it and she didn't know how Rhett could have been with her all these years with her, suffering in silence. It was true he had hurt her as well, but now Scarlett thought it was comprehensible, she would have done the same...

Scarlett looked at Rhett's face and slowly she moved to kneel beside him and stroke his cheek. She vowed that she would change. She would be a better wife and a better mother for Bonnie and the baby growing inside her.

* * *

"Miss Scarlett!" Mammy's voice startled her and she groaned out of pain. She glanced around and she realized she was still in the drawing room but it was dark now. She had fallen asleep kneeling on the floor her head resting over Rhett's chest, and now her whole body ached, but she didn't care.

"Miss Scarlett, you should be sleeping like this, it's bad for you and the baby," Mammy scolded her placing a hand over Scarlett's arm and she helped her to her feet.

"Where's Bonnie, Mammy?" Scarlett asked.

"She's resting, Miss Scarlett. And you should do the same, come on-"

"No, I won't leave him," Mammy was surprised but her outburst. She looked at her mistress. She was too pale and had dark circles under her eyes, and her whole face irradiated sadness. The black woman shook her head. Scarlett was so stubborn she didn't appreciate the people around her until she lost them or the worst happened to them.

"All right, I will bring you more blankets so you won't be cold," Scarlett nodded and Mammy left reluctantly. She sat in the bed next to him and stared down at him. And then his eyelids trembled and he opened his eyes slowly, a groan leaving his lips. Scarlett gasped and covered her mouth.

Rhett blinked a couple of time and then fixed his eyes on her. Scarlett was beyond happy, she wanted to jumped and wrapped her arms around him tightly, and apologized for everything she had said and done, but she didn't do it, she was afraid of hurting him.

"Rhett, I'm so glad you have waked up. I was so worried," she told him and he looked around, frowning.

"Where I am?" he asked confused.

"In the drawing-room, we couldn't take you upstairs," Scarlett explained frowning as well. Something was off with Rhett, he was looking at her with a mix of amazement, confusion and amusement. Then his eyes looked down at his arm in the sling and he cocked an eyebrow.

"What happened to me?"

Scarlett swallowed and looked down at her hands.

"You fell from the stairs and hit your head...," she looked up to him alarmed. "You don't remember?"

"No, and I'm glad," Rhett responded and gave her one of his infamous grins. "What a stupid way of getting hurt!" he sat in the bed as well as he could, flinching a little and then looked at Scarlett again.

"And, if you don't mind, can you tell me who are you?" Rhett was still smiling, but his question took Scarlett's breath away.


	2. Chapter 2: Going back

I know it's short the chapter but I felt bad because I haven't published anything in a long time. School and exams are eating up all my free time, but I promised at least I won't leave incomplete any story, so thank you for your patience and your reviews. BTW I loved them! And thank you for keep reading, hope you like it!

* * *

Chapter 2

Going back

_Wake up, it's time, little girl, wake up_  
_All the best of what we've done is yet to come_  
_Wake up, it's time, little girl, wake up_  
_Just remember who I am in the morning_

...

It was a bad joke, it was a cruel one, she thought desperately, it must be, he was good making those, surely that has to be one... Scarlett's face lost all its color as she stared at Rhett and felt her heart dropping to her knees. Suddenly she couldn't breathe.

"Miss, are you okay?" Rhett asked her frowning. The woman looked as she would faint anytime soon.

Scarlett closed he eyes. No, that wasn't happening. She felt her heart racing but she felt it breaking too, slowly. She shook her head; she couldn't even look at him. Powerful emotions were overwhelming her and she didn't know how to react at them.

He extended his arm and touched her arm but she jumped startled and looked at him. The saw took his breath away because he saw a great pain in her eyes that were barely holding back the tears. Who was she? What had happened? Had he said something inappropriate?

She couldn't take it; she snatched her arm from his gentle grasp and rushed out of the room.

Rhett startled moved the sheets aside and followed her quickly. He didn't know why he did it but seeing that girl cry was breaking his heart. A contradiction because he hadn't thought he could have a heart to be broken in first place.

He found her at the bottom of a grand staircase, with a hand in her belly and the other over the banister, crying her heart out. He stepped to her when a strong voice startled them both:

"Miss Scarlett, what's wrong?" a black chubby woman walked down the stairs to the woman but she hadn't finished when her eyes met him and she froze. "Mista' Rhett... why are you doing out of bed?"

Scarlett turned so fast he could swear she hurt her neck and she stared at him with pain and fear. Mammy noticed that and frowned at him.

"What have you done to her?" she demanded sharply already walking to him as willing to broke his neck.

Rhett frowned confused and stepped back because he really thought she was able to kill him but... what the hell was going on?

"I-"

"It's not his fault, Mammy. It was me who lost control," Scarlett responded swallowing and looked at Rhett. "Apparently Dr. Meade was right about the aftermaths; Rhett doesn't remember anything."

* * *

Mammy and Scarlett convinced Rhett to return to the drawing room but it wasn't easy because he wanted to know everything after Scarlett's statement:

"Where I am?"

"In your house, Mister Rhett; in Atlanta."

"Atlanta?"

"Yes."

Rhett snorted incredulously as he sat in the bed.

"Why I am doing here? I don't even like that much this city."

"Well," Mammy looked over at Scarlett and she shook her head slowly.

"You moved in here after the war," Scarlett responded matter-of-factly and Rhett turned to her frowning.

"The war?"

Scarlett sighed.

"Rhett, it had been a long day. Why don't you go to sleep and tomorrow I will tell you everything you want to know," she asked him.

Rhett frowned annoyed. He wasn't used to be denied, he always get what he wanted when he wanted but there was something in the girl that made him agreed with her.

"All right. Wait, you live in here too?"

The girl froze and Rhett feared the worst. Was he... married? Was that girl his wife? That would make sense why she was crying... but then how...

"Are you... my wife?" he flinched without noticing it; the idea of having a wife was really unappealing. Well, that girl was beautiful, thought he had seen girls and women even more attractive. And certainly she provoked some strange feelings on him but that didn't mean he wanted to be tied. He wasn't ready and probably he would never be.

For first time since all the time Scarlett knew Rhett, she could see his emotions written plainly in his face. He didn't like the idea of being married; moreover, he didn't like the idea of being married to her. That was like a blow for her, one of the many she had received that day and she shook her head mentally and physically tired and before she could think she was talking:

"I'm just a friend, you let me stay here a while. I hope you don't mind," she responded and Mammy shook her head but left the room. Rhett barely noticed that because he stared at Scarlett surprised. Deep inside of him he was disappointed but he masked it well.

"Of course not. You're Scarlett...?"

"Scarlett O'Hara," she responded feeling like a sting using her name. If she couldn't use Butler, then she didn't want the names Hamilton or Kennedy.

He extended his hand and she took it reluctantly. He shook it and both felt it like an electric current flowing between them, something strange yet familiar for both of them and they let go each other's hand immediately. Scarlett forced a smile.

"Well, sleep tight," and before he could say anything else she left the room.

* * *

Scarlett entered Bonnie's room to check on her and found her tossing in bed unable to sleep.

"Bonnie?"

The girl immediately sat in bed.

"Mommy, I can't sleep. Where's daddy?"

Scarlett felt as if someone would have crushed her heart but she managed to force a smile to her daughter.

"He's sick, darling. So you're going to stay with me instead, what about that?" Bonnie reluctantly nodded and went with her mother.

As Bonnie slept Scarlett stared at the ceiling in the dark. What she would have given to have Rhett by her side too! She missed him, more than in that past year after she kicked him out. How stupid she had been..., she had hurt him so badly... maybe, she thought as the tears felt down he face, maybe he was better without her, maybe she should leave him alone... and gave him a chance to be happy.

* * *

At the next day, Scarlett didn't let Bonnie went downstairs. She let her eat in her room with Mammy, as she joined Dr. Meade in the drawing room. He was very mortified to listen that Rhett couldn't remember anything... at least a big part of his life. During the night he remembered his family, some years of his past even he remembered when the rumors of a war between the south and the north began to spread, but nothing else.

"I don't know what caused it, maybe it was the fall or maybe even something traumatic that had happened to him," the old man concluded.

"But when I'm going to recover my memory?" Rhett asked a little annoyed. He didn't care about the cause, he care about the solution.

"I can't tell. However the fact that you can remember some of you past is significant, Captain Butler," Doctor Meade told him starting to collect his things. "Maybe Scarlett can help you to remember by telling you things; however I recommend doing it slowly."

Scarlett nodded and showed him out. But before left the house Doctor Meade turned to Scarlett.

"Scarlett, are you sure you know what you're doing?" he asked her.

When he came in the morning, Scarlett explained to him the situation and asked him to not mention to Rhett that she was in fact married to him, had a daughter with him and was expecting another baby. He agreed because he didn't know Rhett's condition and that information could be overwhelming. But now that Rhett was remembering the doctor found unfitting to keep that from him, after all it was his family. Even if it was a scalawag and had a baggage for wife, and even when he didn't like the Butlers, he couldn't help but feel sorry for them.

"I am," she responded in that stubborn way of hers, leaving him no room for replies. He just glanced at her.

"Call me if anything changes," the old man said and then left.


	3. Chapter 3: To love and love not

**Guys, I'm sorry it took me this long but there was summer break and also I wasn't feeling inspired and I didn't want just to write something, so thank you for waiting, and for all your amazing reviews, I loved them.**

**Also I think I never explained; this story is based on the movie so there's no Wade and Ella, I liked them but I don't know, maybe in another story.**

**I will update the other two stories soon as well, I can't promise an exact date but soon. Thank you again for reading and I hope you'll like it.**

* * *

Chapter 3

To love and love not

_But I'm holding on for dear life, _

_won't look down, won't open my eyes,_

_keep my glass full until morning light,_

_'cause I'm just holding on for tonight._

...

Scarlett stared at the door thinking once again about her husband. This was nothing unusual she constantly thought about him, but normally was with anger or contempt, now it was frustration... and sadness.

She was sad, beyond she thought prudent but she couldn't help it. When she learned she was pregnant she was so happy, she knew it was a second chance to turn the things around with Rhett, and for first time she didn't think about Ashley or how could he fit in her new life. She didn't care at all; she only wanted his husband as lovely and sweet as in their honeymoon and her child, even if she wasn't that fond to spend time with children. But then he returned and they fought… and she pushed him….

She closed her eyes. Of all bad things she had done in her life—including killing that Yankee—that was the thing that haunted her more. She had pushed Rhett from the stairs, no matter what Mammy had said. He tried to warn her, even he moved her out of the way, he looked startled but she punched him, sending him to this state.

Oh, what she could do? She had decided to leave him alone, without the burden of being her wife, but she was too selfish, even when she knew she will be better. What man needed a wife dreaming about another man? Or a woman who was accused to be carrying other's man child?

She had never cared about what people said of her, at all. She just turned her nose up and rubbed her money in their proud and broken noses, but that last gossip about her carrying Ashley's child and Rhett leaving her wife was too cruel; it sting too much and even when she preferred to die than show them any vulnerability, she couldn't help but feel miserable.

What she could do? Leave Rhett to a happy single life and raise her children as a single mother somewhere else? Or tell him the truth? Then he would take Bonnie and leave her thinking she was carrying another's man baby, surely. He had already doubt the paternity, didn't he?

"Scarlett…."

When her life had become so difficult, why she could just not do things right when she married Rhett? She should have never kicked him out of his room, she should have never dreamed about Ashley while being with Rhett, they should have never stayed in Atlanta; they should have gone far, far away….

"Scarlett!"

She jumped startled and turned to look at Ashley upset.

"What?" she snapped.

Ashley was taken aback and looked away, blushing.

'He can't even look me in the eyes, as if I were really carrying his child', Scarlett thought angry. As if he didn't know better, but of course, he preferred to save his reputation than hers.

"I bring you the books of the Mills," he told her, handling the books and looking at her face but not in the eye.

Scarlett snatched them from him and turned his back on him.

"Thank you, Ashley," she said dismissing him. She didn't see him but heard him walk out of the shop. She sighed, for the corner of her eyes she saw Mrs. Elsing sneaking out the door of the shop, surely to share this new piece of gossip with the other cats.

* * *

Scarlett arrived at home feeling exhausted, mentally and physically. She had left Bonnie with Melly but her daughter; stubborn as ever had refused until Melly calmed her down. She explained the situation to Melanie and walked away before she could feel pity for her, Scarlett didn't need anyone's pity.

She opened the door and as soon as she stepped on the hall Mammy's upset voice rang across the enormous house.

"Mista' Rhett! Where are you?! You know you can't leave the library!"

Scarlett couldn't help but smile. In that moment Rhett came out of the dining room carrying a tumbler of scotch in his good arm and stopped when he saw Scarlett standing in the door, watching him.

He shrugged and smirked.

"She didn't want to bring me a drink," he responded easily.

"MISTA' RHETT!" Mammy's booming voice startled them.

"Are you sure I hired her? It's worse than my mother," Rhett asked her smirking and marched to the library as a scolded boy. Scarlett couldn't help but laugh. Suddenly she didn't feel upset or tired anymore.

* * *

There was knock on the door and Rhett lifted his face from his book, his eyes locking with Scarlett's.

"I'm under martial law," he informed her and Scarlett smiled, not knowing what that really meant but guessing it by Mammy's scolding.

"Mammy can be… tough," she responded closing the door behind her and walking to his bed.

"Tough? I thought she was going to whip me," he commented and she chuckled.

Rhett smiled; he didn't know why but this girl's laugh was enchanting and mesmerizing, he wouldn't mind if he heard her laugh all day long.

Scarlett felt his stare and clear her throat.

"Hum… the dinner it's ready and—hum I thought you—maybe would like some company?" she asked suddenly nervous, wrinkling her hands lightly. She felt so unsure and it was so weird because she had never felt that way with Rhett, on the contrary, he always made her feel she could be herself around him.

"I'd loved to," Rhett responded inviting her to come forward, to the chair next to his bed but she stayed where she was, again feeling oddly awkward.

"Hum, I'm going to tell Mammy to bring me my diner—"

"Wait her here," Rhett interrupted her quickly, not wanting her to go, "she's going to bring me a tray and you can ask for another then," he told her kindly, but cocked an eyebrow, watching her with interest. She didn't like that, she felt as he could see right through her.

"All right," Scarlett responded nervous and entered the room sitting in the chair next to Rhett's bed. Once there she felt his gaze fixed on her and felt terribly uncomfortable so she had to say something, anything.

"What are you reading?"

Rhett cocked his eyebrow.

"The Odyssey, have you heard about it?"

Scarlett was about to say a simply no, but she remembered all the times Rhett had mocked of her, calling her an ignorant.

"I haven't read it," she responded shrugging, it wasn't a lie but a graceful answer. She hadn't read it and of course, she hadn't the intention to do it.

"You should, it's a really good story," Rhett said, marking the page and closing the book; the woman in front of him was more captivating.

"What it's about?"

"About a man named Ulysses who left his home for the war and is lost in his way home, having many adventures on the sea, while his wife is waiting for him. She waits for him twenty years," he responded in that storytelling-way that had Scarlett mesmerized always.

"Twenty years?! My God, it's awfully long to wait for someone," she exclaimed frowning, imagining waiting all that time for someone.

Rhett found Scarlett's reaction amusing and chuckled.

"Do you think?" he said with a smile and pensive eyes, recalling the story. "She could have married someone else, but she decided to wait for him."

"Well, that's just silly, he was obviously happy on the sea away from her," she responded buffing and rolling her eyes.

"He had no choice, he was lost, and he tried to go back home all that time. Besides she loved him," Rhett replied and found even more amusing that Scarlett didn't seem to share his romanced version or the story, usually women loved all that but of course, he already had noticed she wasn't nothing like other women, and he liked that. He felt an incredibly curiosity for her.

"Wouldn't you wait that long for someone you love?" he asked wanting to know more about her thoughts.

Scarlett was taken aback by his question not really know what to say.

"Why…"

"You wouldn't?" Rhett's lips corner curled up as he cocked an eyebrow and she pouted, frowning.

"Only if he loves me back, if not, then it would be a stupid thing to do," she responded as if were the most obvious thing in the world, not realizing she had spoken in a hypothetical way, as if she didn't love anyone at the moment.

"It is, but I think when feelings are involved the reason is quickly forgotten," Rhett told her scratching his jaw, really amused by her. He had never met someone so fiery, so full of life and courage, and deep, deep inside, he found envying her husband.

Scarlett watched some changes in his features but she wasn't able to read him as always, however the fact that she had noticed them amazed her. Rhett seemed really curious with her and it felt so nice to have a conversation like this with him again, with no cruel jesting or mocking, or his favorite blank mask, just the two of them enjoying each other's company, as good friends.

'I've missed you', she found herself thinking while watching her husband, recalling those lonely years since she vanished him form her room. How foolish she was! That was one of the greatest mistakes in her life. She missed him beyond her compression.

"Have you ever loved someone Rhett?" she suddenly asked him, curious as well, actually anxious to know if he'd had someone else in his heart, but his answer was a reliving one.

"No, I'm afraid I haven't met any woman that held my interest enough to be more than friends," he responded frankly.

"I see."

"What about you?"

"Me?" Scarlett looked up to him, frowning.

"Yes, I mean, you're married, don't you? Your husband doesn't mind you're staying with me?"

Scarlett's smile faded as well as the color from her face, and she felt as she didn't have enough air. It had been as he had punched her stomach with that question.

"Scarlett..?" Rhett frowned concerned because she suddenly looked like she could faint in any moment.

"He's... gone," she managed to reply, hearing her voice very distant and weak, the truth in her words gnawing her heart. What if he never recovered? What if he never remembered anything? And she found herself wanting to cry, as she hadn't had enough messed emotions in that day.

"I'm sorry. It must be hard, loosing someone you love…," he said confusing her despair with sorrow.

Scarlett just nodded, wanting to leave but she couldn't move.

"Did I know him?" Rhett asked kindly and she swallowed.

"Yes—no, I—I need to—," the door opened and Mammy entered carrying a tray wit Rhett's diner. The woman stopped when she saw her mistress in there.

"Miss Scarlett?" Mammy said surprised but Scarlett stood and walked to the door.

"Wait, are you not staying?" Rhett called her before she could leave. "I though you wanted to stay with me," he was worried for her but he didn't want to let her go. There was something in her that soothed him and made him feel light, almost… happier.

"I—," Scarlett wanted to say yes and left and not coming back, but she craved Rhett's company as well, "I… yes, I'll be right back. Mammy can you bring me a tray too?" she asked to the woman before left the room quickly.

"Miss Scarlett, you're all right?" Mammy asked her when she was half way up the stairs and she stopped a moment completely messed up, because of the mixing feelings her husband had given to her. She couldn't stop her tears any longer and she sobbed.

"I—no, I... don't know," she said and ran to her room, her sanctuary as Rhett used to call it.

Scarlett locked herself crying and she wasn't sure why. Maybe was the irony of this entire charade. But what was... puzzling was those confusing feelings se had, since that night, when Rhett had taken her upstairs and made love to her. It was forced at first but then she joined him willingly, gladly. And then he told her he loved her and she saw a new beginning. Her marriage with Rhett hadn't to be angsty and cold, they could be friends again, now that she knew that and then... everything was just messed up. Her husband didn't remember her or his love or their daughter and she was pregnant. She wouldn't be able to hide it longer than two more months. And then what? What if Rhett never recovered his memory? Would he forgive her when he learned about their life together? Of course not, she already knew it. So what to do? And why did she care so much?

Why did she care if Rhett never remembered her? She didn't love him after all… or…? No, she did not. She couldn't love him, he was mean, and cruel and… caring, and tender and… NO! He had slept with her, with that prostitute, after sleeping with her, he had taken her child away for months, he didn't love her, that wasn't love! But maybe, maybe it was his way to protect himself against her, maybe it had been just a misunderstanding…, no, it couldn't be. Oh God! Why things couldn't be clear for one? Wht to do...? There just one thing to do, the same thing she always did; refuge in the past and that meant Ashley, her prince, her love, always conforting.

She opened her drawer and took out the daguerreotype case containing Ashley's photo. 'I love Ashley, she said focusing in the picture but she didn't felt a thing, she may be as well watching a newspaper. "I love him," she repeats to herself kneeling and then sitting on the floor, "I love him, I love him, I love-" but as she stared at the photo she realized it was very different from what now Ashley looked. He was not the same that in that photo, he was tired and he was old, he was no longer a charming prince but a smeared former picture of the one she was holding. It was like to see a the picture of a ghost, the ghost of the past. And as she thought about Ashley and their childhood, she started to wonder, for first time in her life, what was love. She had asked herself that before but she had never had a proper answer, and as it was a complicate and tiring subject she used to dissmise it, and when she met Ashley she knew she loved him, plain and simple. She had loved him those years despite him being married to Melanie and her married to Charles, Frank and now Rhett but... how can she loved Ashley if she didn't know what loves mean? Maybe, maybe what she had been thinking had been all wrong, maybe she didn't love...

"Miss Scarlett?! Mister Rhett is asking if you're coming down?" the strong and oddly soothing voice of Mammy snapped her out of her train of thoughts and she rose from the floor quickly, dusting off her dress.

"Yes, Mammy, I'm coming," she responded as she hurried to the mirror pinching her cheeks and rubbing some lemon verbena on her neck and hair. She examinated her hair and her dressed, assuring everything was in place before leaving her room, forgetting Ashley's picture in the floor, in her hurry to join her husband.


End file.
